batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
