some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
