Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
