I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
