He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
