You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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