3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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