what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
