playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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