everyone is single if you try hard enough
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize