I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
