Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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