the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
