He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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