I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
