There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize