Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
