Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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