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  • 75 37
    Submitted by Barbarella32 on May 16, 12 at 6:25pm

    "I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure, but I never fornicated anybody."

  • 74 39
    Submitted by SSmackk on May 16, 12 at 6:23pm

    I'm confused. You told your friend's mom she wouldn't sh!t right for a month or you told someone else and your friend's mom overheard? Because that changes everything

  • 69 42
    Submitted by porksword on May 16, 12 at 5:48pm

    Only because you fed someone undercooked chicken.

  • 57 43
    Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on May 16, 12 at 9:48pm

    Was that right after she told you "But I poop from there!"?

  • 49 34
    Submitted by acerzz on May 16, 12 at 6:03pm

    Bad Santa

  • 43 37
    Submitted by cannabislecter on May 16, 12 at 5:07pm

    Baybee ruuuuth?

  • 41 37
    Submitted by jokinjoe20 on May 16, 12 at 7:56pm

    So much cheese!!!!

  • 40 38
    Submitted by keto06 on May 16, 12 at 4:40pm

    you're*****

  • 52 66
    Submitted by GA_Peach on May 17, 12 at 4:04am

    Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

    • 31 41
      Submitted by GA_Peach on May 17, 12 at 4:06am

      There, something entertaining.

      • 39 30
        Submitted by DavidWnC on May 17, 12 at 6:12am

        FAIL

      • 28 34
        Submitted by porksword on May 17, 12 at 9:09am

        Was it trying to get the peanut butter off the roof of its mouth?

    • 32 27
      Submitted by highlikekites on May 17, 12 at 9:06am

      KNOT

    • 31 36
      Submitted by GA_Peach on May 17, 12 at 4:15pm

      I don't know I just picked a fml, copied and pasted.

  • 31 29
    Submitted by aawwsshheett on May 17, 12 at 3:37pm

    this is some how the best night and the worst night. I suppose that's fair...

  • 33 35
    Submitted by CaptSquirrelnuts on May 17, 12 at 12:45am

    Bad Santa fail

  • 33 50
    Submitted by Grandmother on May 16, 12 at 4:24pm

    Fail much, bro?