why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize