Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
