Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We're facebook friends in real life
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
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