My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
