God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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