the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He passed out mid-signature
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
