the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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