I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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