we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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