idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
