The maid of honor just puked.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Someone shit on the floor
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
