I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
