ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the liver wants what the liver wants
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
