I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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