What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
