if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
