What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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