there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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