It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
