im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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