He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
