Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
