My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
