i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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