Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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