okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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