i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize