What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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