I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
