she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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