Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
