I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
