There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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