i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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