he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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