honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you still have your period?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
