so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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