oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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