I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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