I am in a vortex of obligation.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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