i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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