As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Someone signed my nipple.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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