Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
