i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
