Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
