I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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