So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life