Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it

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  (313): That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it http://tfl.nu/c5zl
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (971)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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  (604): it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you http://tfl.nu/0wg6
  Replies (12) Good night (3726) Bad night (532)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.

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  (512): Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits. http://tfl.nu/amvg
  Replies (42) Good night (5102) Bad night (656)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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  (502): he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel. http://tfl.nu/c4zc
  Replies (42) Good night (1526) Bad night (4858)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.

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  (985): the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag. http://tfl.nu/heag
  Replies (13) Good night (1231) Bad night (4884)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (3117)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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  (715): That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile. http://tfl.nu/lpc5
  Replies (8) Good night (1790) Bad night (960)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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  (902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (1384)
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  (916): View more from California

  Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

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  (916): Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On. http://tfl.nu/kp7b
  Replies (5) Good night (3609) Bad night (659)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.

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  (978): Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace. http://tfl.nu/dayc
  Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (434)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.

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  (757): I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date. http://tfl.nu/oqzd
  Replies (5) Good night (1424) Bad night (592)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.

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  (318): In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/56nz
  Replies (12) Good night (416) Bad night (1730)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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  (917): When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork http://tfl.nu/bkbb
  Replies (12) Good night (710) Bad night (510)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.

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  (315): That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lakd
  Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.

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  (212): No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home. http://tfl.nu/seek
  Replies (7) Good night (1991) Bad night (260)

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