If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His hands were made for my vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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