dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
