Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
