Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
